From Approval to Authenticity: Career Lessons from The Courage to Be Disliked” by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
This week, we’re exploring a deeply reflective and transformative book, The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. While I’ve been focusing on works written by women, this book was one of the best I read this year, and I felt it was essential to include. Its lessons on resilience, adaptability, and personal responsibility have had a profound impact on me, particularly in how we approach our careers and life in general. Championing women in financial literacy isn’t about excluding anyone, but rather broadening the conversation to include all voices. Let’s dive into the key takeaways that can help you build resilience and live authentically in both your career and life...
📚 Key Takeaway #1: Letting Go of External Validation
Building inner confidence means freeing yourself from the need for approval. The book’s central message is that you don’t need to rely on others’ opinions to validate your choices. In a career context, this means making decisions that align with your values and professional goals, rather than seeking constant affirmation from others.
Key Tip: Focus on making decisions that align with your own values. Building inner confidence helps you make career choices that feel true to who you are, rather than what others expect of you. Learning to self validate is so important, you will never stop caring what others think if you keep asking for their opinions and approval.
📚 Key Takeaway #2: Resilience Through Personal Responsibility
Taking ownership of your actions and decisions is a core theme in The Courage to Be Disliked. The authors emphasise that accepting responsibility for your life and career choices helps build resilience. This shift from external blame to personal responsibility empowers you to adapt to challenges and take proactive steps, both in your career and personal life.
Key Tip: Own your choices, especially in difficult situations. This mindset shift allows you to focus on solutions rather than dwelling on what’s beyond your control.
📚 Key Takeaway #3: Separation of Tasks
One of the most liberating concepts in the book is the idea of separation of tasks. This principle teaches us to focus on what is within our control and let go of concerns about how others perceive us. In the workplace, this means concentrating on your own performance and growth, rather than being bogged down by others’ judgments or opinions.
Key Tip: Focus on what you can control, and let go of the rest. By practicing the separation of tasks, you’ll be able to direct your energy toward personal and professional growth without the weight of others’ expectations.
📚 Key Takeaway #4: Navigating Individual and Communal Progress
Balancing personal growth with contributing to a team’s success is an essential skill in the professional world. The Courage to Be Disliked explores how individual progress and communal success can coexist and complement each other. Understanding how to prioritise your own growth while supporting the collective goals of a team is key to career advancement.
Key Tip: Strive to balance your own development with the needs of your team. This approach allows you to grow personally while contributing to the success of those around you. Remember that when the team wins, you win too and when you win your team wins, it is not mutually exclusive.
📚 Key Takeaway #5: Adapting to Change as an Opportunity
In today’s dynamic job market, adaptability is essential. The book reframes adversity and change as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles. This perspective has helped me view career transitions and challenges as moments for self-improvement, encouraging me to embrace change with a positive outlook.
Key Tip: When faced with change, focus on the opportunities it presents rather than the challenges. This mindset helps you remain resilient and open to new possibilities.
📚 Key Takeaway #6: Living Authentically in Career and Life
One of the most impactful lessons from the book is the courage to live authentically. Whether it’s choosing a career path that aligns with your values or making decisions that reflect your true self, authenticity is essential for long-term fulfillment. Embracing who you are and what you stand for allows you to build a career and life that truly resonate with you.
Key Tip: Align your career decisions with your core values. Authenticity is not just about staying true to yourself—it’s about building a life and career that feels deeply fulfilling.
📚 My Biggest Takeaway
The most significant takeaway for me was the concept of personal responsibility and the separation of tasks. By focusing on what is within my control and not worrying about external opinions, I’ve learned to be more resilient and adaptable. This has helped me take ownership of my career and navigate challenges more confidently, whether in individual efforts or as part of a team. If this resonated with you, I dive more into this topic on my podcast Empower Sounds in episode 19 "How To Stop Caring What Others Think..."
The link is in the bio for anyone who wants to check it out :)
How do you build resilience in your career and life, while balancing personal and team growth? Have you read The Courage to Be Disliked? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!
